Getting It
by Rex Sun
Summary: Suzaku and Shirley date, and Lelouch is confused. He's confused by the fact that he's confused, too./ Suzaku/Shirley. Oneshot. Slight AU.


Written by request. Slight AU.

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><p><strong>Getting It<strong>

"So, I was thinking of asking Shirley out on a date."

Lelouch takes a too-fast gulp of tea and coughs, eyes watering and throat burning. Suzaku observes this over the rim of his own teacup with a perfectly straight face, except there is a certain twinkle in his eye and arch to his brow that can only mean that Suzaku is amused.

The bastard.

"Is this—" Lelouch very primly dabs his face with a napkin. "Are you yanking my chain?"

A slow smile, still easily disguised as polite confusion, curls Suzaku's lips. "Sorry, I don't understand the expression."

Lelouch glares weakly. Of course he knows the expression, the filthy liar. "It means... Pulling me along. Along for a joke. Are you making a joke?"

"Oh no," Suzaku says lightly. "I'm very serious about it." Then he tilts his head just so and hitches a look of concern. "I wanted to tell you about it before I went ahead and did it. I mean, I know you two are friends and all, but you don't talk about these things."

Lelouch accidentally crushes the biscotti he is lifting. "About... what?"

"About the girls you like, I mean!"

Lelouch looks at his best friend as if he's grown another head. Suzaku doesn't stare back, just calmly sips his tea, ever so goddamn polite. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Well," Suzaku sighs, considering his answer as he puts his cup down finally. "Just making sure that you didn't... What's the saying... 'Call dibs'."

—and of course the most natural reaction to that is to accidentally (on purpose) spill massive amounts of tea and most happily hurry from the room in pursuit of cleaning materials.

(Unfortunately he is fairly certain that Suzaku doesn't fall for it for a single instant, for he doesn't even jump up to help as is his usual reaction. But Suzaku allows Lelouch to escape and for that he is grateful.)

"And no!" Lelouch calls from the kitchen so that Suzaku can't see the bright red blush on his face. "I don't have any interest in Shirley!"

"Okayyyy!" Suzaku calls back in a happy little sing-song. "Then wish me luck~!"

* * *

><p>"I thought you weren't interested," Rivalz points out in what Lelouch imagines is an accusatory tone.<p>

"I'm not," Lelouch mutters, not tearing his eyes off of his two friends where they are chatting in the distance.

"Then _why_are you staring at them?" Rivalz complains. Lelouch can't blame him. They look very uncool right now, not really even talking to each other as they relax in the bleachers. Well, Rivalz is relaxed. Lelouch is tensed and trained on Shirley and Suzaku as they begin to jog in step with each other around the P.E. track.

"Because!" Lelouch hisses like it's obvious, except he doesn't extrapolate at all. Because really, how can Rivalz not see?

They look so... _cute_. Suzaku is so fit and that uniform is a little tight over his hard muscles. Shirley is toned, her hair pulled into a high ponytail that swishes with every step. They're both so athletic, and they're outpacing all the other students without even trying, barely breaking a sweat and keeping up a conversation. A very animated conversation, Lelouch notices, it must be; Shirley can't stop giggling.

Rivalz suddenly leans forward, breaking Lelouch's concentration. Lelouch is mildly surprised to see him glaring suspiciously. "What?"

Rivalz squints at him like he's trying to make something out.

"What, I say!"

"You're not..." Rivalz hesitates. "...you're not checking out _Suzaku_?"

Lelouch jerks away, eyes wide. "Wh—no—I—"

Rivalz is not put at ease by these stuttering protestations. He starts leaning away as well, eyebrows raised.

"No!" Lelouch says more firmly. "I'm not checking _anyone_out. Don't get weird ideas. I'm simply observing!"

Rivalz slumps forward again, apparently accepting this explanation—for now. "Uh huh. And that's what made me question you. You say you're not interested in Shirley and you're not gay for Suzaku—" Lelouch chokes on his own spit on 'gay' "—and yet you've been staring all class period. Why!"

"Because!" Lelouch says again, gesturing impatiently with his hand. "Suzaku is—he's—"Lelouch works his entire and quite notable brain power as fast as he is able and does not come up with the truth. So instead he says, "He's like family! Of course I would be curious! I want to know if they're a good match! That's it..."

Rivalz seems to find this in accord and finally drops his suspicious expression. He leans back and crosses his arms. "They're a good match!" he says jovially. "You haven't noticed them?"

"No?" Lelouch frowns, eyebrow quirked. "Why would I?"

"...you're completely oblivious to these things, aren't you?"

Lelouch glares. That was a little too much like making fun of him. Rivalz grins.

"Your quarry has escaped."

"What!"

When Lelouch whips around, he sees that it's true. The two of them are nowhere to be seen. "Where...?"

"Behind the athletics gym building," Rivalz says, unconcerned. "But you better not follow."

"And why not?" Lelouch demands imperiously. Rivalz gives him a _look_. Lelouch shakes his head, not getting it. Rivalz raises his eyebrows a few times in quick succession. Lelouch shakes his head. Rivalz hums and rolls his eyes. Lelouch shakes his head. Rivalz stares at him for a few seconds in pure incredulity—how can his genius friend be such an idiot—before making a kiss face.

"...oh."

"Yup."

"Oh. OH! Ack!"

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><p>Rivalz's insinuation that Lelouch is in some way deficient in the category of romantic awareness lights a fire in Lelouch. Lelouch is deficient in no way! So he pays more attention, just to prove that he can spot romantic contact (at least when it is as blatant as Rivalz implies it is).<p>

And indeed he can definitely spot it. It comes on a rainy day when Shirley, ever the klutz, did not come prepared. She stumbles into the Ashford foyer soaking wet and stumbles to where the student council huddles together. "It started pouring on my way across the ground!" she sighs heavily. "Just all of a sudden!"

Then, trying to shake off her shivering, she shrugs out of her yellow blazer. It rained so hard that even her white shirt underneath is soaked through. Just as he expected, she's the type to wear cutesy, lacy underwear. Really, doesn't that scratch her skin? Silly girl.

"S-Shirley!" Suzaku stutters, rushing forward and whipping off his own blazer. "Y-you, uh, must be cold—here—" And he very gallantly helps Shirley into his clothes. She beams up at him and he cracks a huge (rather goofy) grin. The sleeves are too long for her, among many other things—she raises her hands and flaps the extra material around her face.

A ha! There. Romance. Lelouch is perfectly capable of seeing the soppy way they look at each other. Lelouch sends a triumphant glare in Rivalz's direction—but Rivalz is looking away, smiling oddly and blushing. What the hell? And now that he looks around, it seems most males in the area have the same expression. Did he miss something yet again?

But what is unmistakable is the way Suzaku and Shirley sit next to each other in class, and how Shirley purposefully ducks her head into the wide, stiff collar of Suzaku's jacket. As Lelouch passes them at the end of class, he overhears, "Your clothes smell nice."

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><p>"Lelouch, you have to help me! —oh, hello Nunally!"<p>

"Hi, Suzaku!"

Lelouch sighs and looks up from where he is expertly darning the edge of Nunally's socks, over to where Suzaku has just barged, uninvited, into his living room. —and promptly chokes over the reflex to laugh. Suzaku's hair is positively an afro. "What in the hell happened to you!"

Suzaku's hand fly to his head and desperately try to flatten his fluffed curls. "I don't know—Lelouch, come on, you have to help, please. I have a date with Shirley today!"

"A date with Shirley?" Nunally repeats, delighted. "Oh, how adorable!"

Suzaku shoots her a grin, that same goofy grin he gets every time someone mentions Shirley nowadays. Lelouch rolls his eyes.

"Have you tried," Lelouch drawls, "oh, I don't know, _wetting it down_?"

Suzaku looks stunned by this revelation. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Suzaku suddenly shakes his head. "Ah, but I need more help than that! Please, come on!" Suzaku dives and tugs Lelouch up by the arm. Lelouch sighs, pats Nunally's hand, and lets Suzaku drag him away into Lelouch's bedroom.

"You're damn straight you need more help," Lelouch says bitingly. "You weren't actually going to wear that, were you?"

Suzaku stops and looks down at his baggy jeans and faded t-shirt. They are clean and wrinkle free, but that is the most that can be said. Suzaku blushes a little. "Well, I mean, I don't have a lot of stuff that isn't a uniform..."

"Suzaku, as your best friend, I can't let you go on a date looking like— _that_!"

"Yesss!" Suzaku hisses, clapping Lelouch on the shoulders. "That's what I'm here for—just—help me."

"Good god, you're a mess," is what Lelouch says but he is instantly throwing open his closet and pulling out the clothes that are loosest on him and ordering Suzaku to go run his head under water.

Thirty minutes later Suzaku's hair is blow-dried to perfection ("Now don't try it too much because it'll fry your hair after a while, it's always best to let it drip-dry when in an upright position and with occasional shaping, but yes, on special occasions like this it'll make your hair very soft—" – "Lelouch, you lost me."); he's wearing Lelouch's clothes, which are very snug but they fit overall and more than that, they are a million times more fashionable ("See, these darker stripes across your shoulders? Makes you look taller. You aren't the tallest, you have to admit, and Shirley isn't small, so this will—" – "Wow, fancy, where on earth do you wear these clothes since you don't go on dates?"); and Lelouch leans over now, dabbing cologne just perfectly onto his neck, something masculine but not overwhelming.

"There," Lelouch declares with a sweeping hand gesture, "perfection. Bow. Thank you."

Suzaku looks at himself in the mirror and grins sheepishly, then glances at Lelouch's reflection. "Lelouch?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. Are you lonely now that I don't hang out as much?"

Lelouch chases the rascal from his home, growling at his cheeky grins.

* * *

><p>Nunally seems to pity Lelouch once she understands the situation. She pets his hair and politely hides her smile behind her hand.<p>

"I thought Shirley had a crush on me," Lelouch mumbles. "Everyone kept saying she had a crush on me."

"Well," Nunally says delicately. "I suppose… you didn't actually seem to reciprocate any interest, so when Suzaku showed his own…"

"Hmph." Lelouch sighs and hides his face in his dearest sister's lap. "I'm not lonely."

"Okay."

"Really!"

* * *

><p>Something in him churns, though, to see Shirley and Suzaku walking hand-in-hand down the hallway. Or to see them swapping items at lunch. Or Suzaku draping his arms around her shoulders as the weeks pass. Or to be dragged by the rest of the student council to Shirley's swim meet to give support and to spot Suzaku already there, cheering the loudest. Or when Shirley slips on the wet floor despite the warning signs and Suzaku catches her easily in one arm. Or to see them in the meeting room, playing with Arthur together and when she thinks no one is looking, Shirley kisses Suzaku's bites better.<p>

Something about it makes him feel—not angry, not jealous—he can't place the emotion and it bugs him all the way through the preparations for the stupid ball coming up with some stupid theme, and he just doesn't have his heart in it. Milly notices and impatiently cracks her whip.

In fact Lelouch is still in a funk by the time the dance rolls around. He sits on the sides and turns down any hopeful females and broods on the fact that this time there was no need to randomly choose escorts amongst the student council. Shirley had been quite adamant that Suzaku would be the one to escort her, no questions asked—and there they were, twirling around the ballroom, close and comfy, staring green eyes to green.

Lelouch is beginning to consider leaving and figuring his romantic life out over a nice bout of internet chess when a boy from his year but a different class approaches and clears his throat. The boy is blushing furiously as he extends his hand. "V-vice president… I was, er, wondering if you'd like to dance… with me?"

Lelouch stares at him for a beat, supremely shocked. The boy is tall and bespectacled and broad-shouldered and—_handsome_, Lelouch realizes. "You are… Robert, right?"

"You know my name!" the boy says, surprised, before quickly straightening out his features. "I mean, yes, that's me…"

Why not. Lelouch stands and then hesitantly slips his large male hand into Robert's large male hand. Oh. Oh, okay. And as Robert takes him out to the floor with a lot of cheering and a bit of jeering and many disappointed girls—and Lelouch tenses with uncertainty until Robert guides Lelouch's right hand to his shoulder and left to his waist, and then Robert does the same with his own—and Lelouch glances around and meets the eyes of both Shirley and Suzaku—

his friends give him two thumbs-up. Lelouch finds a slow smile and his own thumbs-up in return and dances with the handsome boy named Robert and—

okay, he gets it now.

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><p>.<p>

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Thanks for reading!


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